DESTINY DEMYSTIFIED.

A lot of myths are identified with the word “destiny” which often suggests that Man’s destiny is already settled at birth. But, I dare to disagree with the myths. Won’t the world be a cruel place to live if some people are destined to live in abject poverty while some are destined to be great? The answer is affirmative. Without gainsay, nature will be so unkind if people’s fates are sealed at birth. The Creator being so fair, He deposits in everyone all that we need to make exploits and thrive at birth. He also gives everyone a fair play ground, the liberty to choose our paths and the opportunity to take part in the molding of our destinies. By the Creator’s making, everyone is destined to be great but unfortunately, our choices, actions and reactions alter the Creator’s plan for our lives. We unconsciously choose our paths and later blame it on destiny.

So what is destiny? Is it definite and unchangeable? Or can it be altered or cheated?

According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, “destiny is what happens to somebody or what will happen to them in the future, especially things that they cannot change or avoid.” Contrary to the general view that our destinies are enforced on us, from my own viewpoint, the definition suggests that we are responsible for our destinies since it’s an undeniable universal law that our choices and actions inevitably attracts proportionate results. For instance, if you fail to prepare adequately for an examination, the probability that you will fail the examination is high. In this scenario, it can be said that you are doomed to fail the examination. However, if you prepare adequately for the examination, ceteris paribus, success cannot elude you. In this case, it can also be rightly said that you are meant to pass the examination.

Life is like a race where everybody is given the opportunity to start at the starting point at the zero hour. How the race is finished now depends on the racer’s strength, skills, discipline, choices, actions, work ethics, character, habits, amongst other things. Destiny is the dividend you earn from your investments in your yesteryears, yesterdays, today, and tomorrows.

Destiny is not definite and unchangeable; it can be altered or cheated. I know of a civil servant turned musician in Nigeria who had an accident in the course of his duty. The accident left him paralyzed and instead of begging for alms like most people do, he decided to turn his destiny around with the disability. First, he organized a fundraising for his initial treatment abroad where he launched his album (he recorded his ordeal as a song). He was in the showbiz before the incident and so he enjoyed much publicity for his album. That aroused people’s emotions, and they bought his album massively. He did not only make enough money through the sale of his album, several organizations also donated money for his treatment. Though he cannot still walk with his two legs unassisted as I write this, but he’s now riding a customized jeep that he drives himself even with his disability. Today, people pay him huge some of money just for him to sing at ceremonies. He is now an international musician as he has organized several shows successfully abroad. His name is Yinka Ayefele and I doff my hat for him.

When Yinka Ayefele was plagued with paralysis, he could have accepted it as his destiny to beg for alms. But instead he decided to use the disability to launch himself to limelight and affluence. He has turned his woe into success. He has not only emancipated himself from mediocrity, he has also succeeded in liberating his family from poverty. What will you call his destiny? To get paralysed only to be launched? Whichever way you think of it, I bet you’re wrong. Yinka Ayefele took charge of his destiny! He altered the plans of the adversary over his life. He beat circumstances to it. He carved out his destiny on the anvil of courage. He demystified destiny.

I don’t know your situation but if Yinka Ayefele can do it, so can you! You are not stuck with a bad destiny. You might not be able to control certain occurrences in your life, but you sure can control the way you react to them. You can turn around any situation you find yourself. You can work out your destiny. You can challenge the status quo. You can picture a future and feature in it.

Your fate is not sealed, there’s still remedy. Spend every passing minute judiciously. Before embarking on any action, think right, choose right, plan right, prepare right and act right so that you can attain a glorious destiny.

I can only admonish, it’s up to you to work out your destiny in life’s reality show. Walk the talk. Recreate your world. Finish strong!

THERE’S HOPE!

Admittedly, life is not without challenges and these challenges could be so overwhelming at times that one might doubt the possibility of ever finding solutions. But even so, I have come to realize that “no situation is as terrible as it appears and that every challenge has a solution”. Call it a propaganda, but see what I mean…

After dusk comes dawn; it’s irrefutable. No matter how difficult a challenge might be, it can’t last forever; it must surrender to time or solution. Interestingly, when challenges are surmounted, then comes victory, newness, liberty, and promotion. Even when a challenge overwhelms you, you can decide to still take advantage of the defeat. No situation is hopeless.

The word “solution” in itself was coined to indirectly mean “hope” because the dictionary meaning of solution is “dealing with a difficult situation”. The fact that a difficult situation can be dealt with means there’s hope! Everything is possible to those that believe in possibilities. So, I charge you not to loose hope in any situation under any circumstance. What is the challenge?

Are you in debt? Suicide is not your best option. If you hang in there, with hard work and perseverance, you will not only repay your debt, you will also make more money than you ever imagined (it has happened before).

Is it unwanted pregnancy? Don’t abort, that child might turn out to be your only hope later in life (it has happened before).

Have you failed the same examination over and over again? Don’t give up, there’s hope! Do it again!

Even if you’re HIV/AIDS positive, there’s still hope. Apart from the fact that cure is on its way, having a premonition of death even gives you the opportunity to prepare for life after death. Besides, anti-retroviral drugs can still buy you some extra years and it’s not impossible that a miracle will happen whereby the virus will just disappear of its own accord if you have faith (it has happened before).

Whatever the situation may be, your breakthrough is certain if you endure. In actual fact, life will be meaningless (a bad joke) without the hope of a better tomorrow. And life can’t possibly be a huge joke because it’s real; all you have to do to give meaning to your life is to fully understand life’s laws and its applications so that you can use them to your advantage. Life is not without hope. Even ordinarily, every challenge comes with its solution, just that it’ll take thinkers to decipher the solution. No matter the situation, you can rise! Your latter end can be better. The outcome of that challenging situation can even make you a better person. I know so because I have seen a victim becoming a victor before. I have also seen a loser becoming a winner before. I have also seen a disadvantage turning into an advantage before.

Since there’s hope for a tree that was cut down to sprout again because it’s still rooted in the soil, because you are still alive, there’s hope for you in this life, and even beyond the grave. So whoever you are, whatever you’re going through, I implore you not to loose hope. Be resolute. Be innovative. Be receptive. Be optimistic. Think right. Plan right. Act right.

Hope it. See it. Work it. Live it.

LIVE EVERY MINUTE AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

I lost a colleague to death’s cold hands three days ago and it dawned on me that anyone can die at anytime. This was a guy who walked into the hospital with his two legs. Gradually, the sickness deteriorated and he later fell into coma. Now, he’s six feet below the surface of the earth. Such is life…so uncertain.

Perhaps the saddest truth in the whole wide world is that everybody will die one day. I have come to realize that life is a stage where you are only permitted to act your part. When your part is over, you will leave the stage for others to play their parts. Since we are not going to be on life’s stage forever, it is important that we live every minute as if it were the last so that we can achieve something meaningful before we eventually leave the stage.

If your heart stops beating right now, where do you think you will spend your eternity? Will people feel sad about your exit or will they rejoice? What will you be remembered for? Will it be said that a soul benefited from your life or will it be said that you affected the world adversely? Will it be said that you contributed your quota to the development of our world or will it be said that you ended up leaving the world worse than you met it? Will your footprints be left on the sand of time or will your memory fade in no time? It calls for sober reflection.

If you do a thorough analysis, you will realize that you can do better than you’re doing. Beloved, it’s time to make amends. Go back to your drawing board and re-strategize. Map out goals and the plans to realize them. By all means, endeavor to fulfill your purpose before you join your ancestors.

You came to this world alone and you’ll leave alone, so start taking life personal. Start taking life serious. Always see the dawning of a new day as another opportunity to make a difference. Don’t postpone the good you can do now for the morrow. Finish that project. Conclude that assignment. Help that soul. Today’s all you’ve got to make a difference, tomorrow may be too late.

TURN STUMBLING BLOCKS INTO STEPPING STONES.

If life is without stumbling blocks, everyone will definitely attain greatness. If everyone becomes great, the world will loose its meaning because there will be no one to serve. Nature being so kind, the Universe often punctuates our paths with stumbling blocks so that the world’s population can be segregated into different strata; those that surmount the stumbling blocks will succeed in attaining their goals, while those that give in to them will not only fail in attaining their goals, they will also be compelled to serve the successful to survive. Amazing, isn’t it?

I know of a fast growing telecommunication firm in Africa that lost out of the bid for GSM license some years ago. Despite the huge some of money the firm lost to the bid, the management of the firm was undeterred. The firm repackaged itself and later bided for a more comprehensive telecommunication license and interestingly the firm won the bid. Today, the firm is a success story having literally turned the stumbling block into a stepping stone. The firm has not only spread its tentacles across many countries in Africa, it has also succeeded in competing with other telecommunication firms that had been in existence decades before the firm was even incorporated. You will agree with me that if the management of the firm had given up with the pursuit of the telecommunication license when faced with the stumbling block, the feat wouldn’t have been realized. Therefore, I postulate that “To give in to a stumbling block is to trade impending success for defeat.” Call it a hypothesis, but see what I mean…

Our Universe is a testing ground; a place where everyone is tested before qualifying. Since you cannot retain nor value what you obtain cheaply, life demands that you qualify for every objective before it is relinquished to you. So, to qualify for success in life, you must pass the tests that life brings your way; you must scale the hurdles. Unfortunately, majority give up when stumbling blocks cross their paths which explains why only a fraction of the world’s population succeeds. Thus, it is pertinent for everyone desirous of success to always turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

So what is a stumbling block? How can it be converted into a stepping stone?

A stumbling block can be said to be a test of your desire and faith to attain an objective. It disguises in form of a challenge to discourage one from pursuing the objective. Interestingly, success is usually at the other side of a stumbling block.

Despite its cunning, you can beat the masquerade called stumbling block to it by using it as a stepping stone. When faced with a stumbling block, first analyze it properly to discover the loophole(s); there must be other ways and better ways the hurdle can be scaled. Then, re-strategize and reposition yourself to scale the hurdle. If you can’t go over the stumbling block, go around it. Change plan or technique if you have to. By all means, ensure that it doesn’t hinder you from achieving the set objective.

Since your ability to surmount stumbling blocks will determine the stratum into which the Universe will segregate you, it is advisable that you always overcome challenges instead of giving in to them. Never, never, never take “NO” for an answer. Be innovative. Be resolute. Be forceful. Be indomitable. Be triumphant.

TO BE LUCKY, BE PREPARED.

Many attribute their failure in life to the absence of luck and then refer to the winners in the society as the lucky ones. Whereas, opportunity presents itself to everyone at some point or the other, just that when it does, it meets some unprepared while it meets some fully prepared – the unprepared inevitably cannot make use of the opportunity while the fully prepared make the best use of it. Even in sports generally, winners don’t just emerge without having worked for the trophy; it’s usually the endless hours they must have put into training that pays off. Thus, I dare to disagree with the dictionary meaning of “luck” (good things that happen to you by chance, not because of your own efforts or abilities). To me, a man can only be said to be lucky when he emerges victorious in an endeavor because of his preparedness and readiness at the time an opportunity presented itself. Call me a controversial writer, but see what I mean…

Tell me, if a sprinter that has been training everyday for over a year emerges as the winner in a competition, will you attribute the success to luck or adequate preparation? If a student that has been preparing hard for an examination eventually gets a distinction, will you attribute the success to luck or adequate preparation? If a contractor wins a contract because he submitted a detailed proposal and made an impressive presentation to the client, will you attribute the success to luck or adequate preparation? Judge.

In life, as it is in sports, victory usually goes to the most prepared. If you don’t prepare adequately for an endeavor, you will inevitably fail. Thus, for you to excel triumphantly in life’s battlefield, you must be prepared at all times for opportunities; that’s simply the recipe for luck. To get WHATEVER you want from life, make adequate preparations, be ready to make sacrifices, persevere and most importantly be smart enough to plug-in to opportunities at the nick of time.

If you’re aiming for gold in a sporting event, you better be fully prepared, else you might just fumble. Before you sit for that examination, you better be fully prepared, else you might just waste your time and money. Before you submit that application, you better ensure that you submit all the requirements with it, else you might just waste your time and money. If you’re vying for an exalted position, you had better be prepared, else you might be disgraced out of the contest. Preparation is the key.

Lucky designate, I charge you to influence your destiny by preparing adequately for the set tasks before you. Overpower the wild horse called LIFE and ride her gallantly till you are rewarded someday with a crown. Ride her to stardom. Ride her to opulence. Ride her to fulfillment.

BE DYNAMIC

Despite the fact that opportunities abound everywhere, only few dynamic individuals maximize them which explains why only a fraction of the world’s population make it to the winner’s caucus. Frankly, not all professions can even make you financially independent. But if you’re dynamic, you can achieve it irrespective of your vocation. Thus, dynamism is the key to survival in our ever changing world. Call it another ambiguous statement, but see what I mean…

Since human wants are insatiable, you can’t even take care of your pressing needs not to even talk of saving or investing for the future if your resources are defined and limited. Thus, the need for you to add to your means cannot be overemphasized if you are to achieve more. Being dynamic is one of the ways you can add to your means. So what is dynamism? How can a person be dynamic? How can being dynamic help one succeed?

According to the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, “dynamism is the energy and enthusiasm to make new things happen or to make things succeed.” A dynamic person is always changing and making progress. Unfortunately, many are too rigid and lazy; which explains why they are static. I know of a Home Economics teacher who is an expert in making anything with flour: meat pie, fish pie, doughnut, sausage, cake, name it. She’s also skilled in interior decorations. But instead of her to use her skills to augment her meager salary since she closes from work as early as 2pm, she goes home to sleep after school when some of her colleagues even use the time to coach students for extra cash. She could even bake cakes, pies, and other snacks to sell in schools, or she could even own a small shop to sell after school hours for extra cash but instead she’s waiting for a big raise to come from heaven so that she can open a big eatery. She could also collect interior decoration jobs for a fee, but instead she’s waiting for the time she’ll have all the money to buy all the accessories needed before she would start. Is she not the enemy of herself? Judge.

Unfortunately, majority are in the category of this Home Economics teacher in our world today. They cry for breakthrough when all they need to do to alleviate their situation is to utilize the opportunities around them. You don’t necessarily have to get a job with an oil company before you achieve financial independence, all you have to do is to maximize the opportunities around you irrespective of your vocation. Even a messenger can take part in network marketing like GNLD, Tianshi, to name a few and eventually become a millionaire. A cyber café attendant can take part in FOREX trading and eventually make more money than the owner of the cyber cafe in a month. The list is endless.

Thus, this is a call for all and sundry that desires a higher ground to be dynamic. Don’t be stiff, always be on the look-out for opportunities and move with the trend. Use your present ground as a means to attain a higher ground. Find the advantages within your vocation and fully utilize them to your betterment. Even convert the disadvantages into advantages. By all means, add more means to your means.

Success does not come in a vacuum; you have to earn it. The breakthrough you’re looking for is not far-fetched, just that it’s tied to your ability to think and work out solutions. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever your vocation may be, you can succeed. Financial independence is not a birthright of the few neither is it a mirage, it can be attained. So, I charge you to assess your vocation thoroughly and think of opportunities you can tap into and then act on them because your success depends on them.

Don’t rest on your oars. Keep progressing. Keep evolving. Keep attaining.

KEEP RAISING THE BAR.

I know of a driver who prides in being a driver for over 30 years but who doesn’t have anything to show for it. He brags that he has driven to virtually every part of the country but unfortunately success isn’t measured by the mileage a man has covered. Sadly enough, the present salary of the driver in question (who’s unfortunately a widower with many children to cater for) is less than $150 in a month (30 working days) even after he has worked as a driver for over 30 years in different establishments. He doesn’t listen to corrections neither does he want to change his methods as he believes he knows it all. Since he’s a talkative, he keeps broadcasting his sad story and at any slight opportunity he’ll make you see reasons why he needs some tip to augment his meager salary. He even refers to himself as a poor, unhappy man. I once asked him why he didn’t make a conscious effort to climb higher than the position of a driver and he told me that he had nowhere else he could fit in. How wrong! Many are in the category of this man in our world today - they are stagnant and poor, not because there are no better opportunities, but because they have refused to raise the bar. At the time the man in question got the job as a driver when he was a bachelor, it was not a bad idea. But instead of him using the job as a platform to launch himself, he CHOSE to remain there. No wonder why he has been a driver for that long without having anything to show for it. No wonder why he’s poor. No wonder why he’s unhappy. No wonder why he’ll spend his retirement in uncertainty. Can you call this man a success? Do you think he can adequately provide for his children? What kind of role model do you think he will be as a father? What kind of ideas do you think he would have inculcated in the minds of his children? What will become of our world if everybody were to be like him? Judge.

Whereas, I also know of a man in my lineage that joined the civil service as a Messenger but who retired as a Director General when majority of his friends that he joined the service with retired still as Messengers. How come he started from the least rank and ended in a high rank? Did God decide to smile on him alone? Was life unkind to the rest by restricting their growth? Certainly not! When his mates were spending their meager salaries on clothes, women, drinks, and other side attractions that could wait then, he chose to save for his future. When his contemporaries were sleeping and partying, he was busy studying. With his savings, he was able to educate himself through school. He went for courses upon courses, seminars upon seminars. And then, the promotions came, obviously not on a platter of gold, but through years of hard work, dedication, self denial, and determination. This man retired fulfilled.

Life’s all about being ambitious. Life’s all about planning. Life’s all about sacrifices. Life’s all about choices. People often remain in mediocrity not because they can’t leave the level but because they are not doing what it takes to leave the status for a higher status. The reason why many are where they are today is because they stopped growing as soon as they got a place to stand. That’s why I love High Jump - a sporting event in which people try to jump over a high bar that is gradually raised higher and higher. Once you scale a height, the bar is usually raised higher till you can scale no further. Life should be approached in this manner. Once you achieve an objective, you should set another higher objective. Once the higher objective is achieved, a higher one should be set again. And this should continue till you breathe your last. From one objective to another, little by little, you’ll eventually climb the height you never imagined you could climb.

Your today shouldn’t tie down your tomorrow. There’s nothing wrong in a man having to start climbing the ladder of success from the status of a driver, messenger or even a lower rank, but everything is wrong in him remaining in that status till he retires from active work. Your ultimate goal should be to scale the utmost height and your present position should be used as a launch pad to propel you to a much higher ground. You don’t have to be glued to a vocation for so long if it won’t take you to the caucus of successful people. Once you attain a position, you should start planning of moving to the next level. If it means adding more qualifications or learning more trade, do so. By all means, empower yourself for the next phase because the crown usually goes to whom it’ll fit; higher responsibilities cannot be entrusted in your hands if you can’t handle them.

Are you satisfied with your present position? Can your present position make you financially independent someday? Are you happy with where you are? Is your retirement secure? If not, then it’s time to raise the bar so that you can fly higher. It’s time to plan for the future. It’s time to dream bigger dreams. It’s time to map out goals that will make your dreams a reality. It’s time to act.

There are still higher grounds than the one you’re presently occupying and you can get there. You can do better than you’re doing presently. You can make a change. So, never settle for less. Be ambitious. Be empowered. Be determined. Kiss mediocrity goodbye!

YOU CAN’T PLEASE THE WORLD.

As interesting as our world is to live in, you cannot possibly please the inhabitants. If you are meek, the world might mistake it for slackness. If you always have answers to questions, your colleagues might take it as a ploy to outshine them. If a leader is tender, he will be regarded as weak. If his methods are harsh, he will be regarded as a tyrant. No matter how laudable a government’s reforms might be, some will still complain. If a president is prudent in awarding contracts, he will be regarded as a miser. If however he is generous in awarding contracts, he will be regarded as a squanderer. If you are an introvert, it might be mistaken for pride. If you are an extrovert, the world will still complain. If you are honest, the world will take you for a fool. If however you are not, the world will dub you corrupt. Human beings will always have an adjective to qualify every deed, no wonder why every language (English, French, name it) has an antonym for every adjective. Funny, isn’t it?

Human beings are selfish. Once an action or decision is not in their favour, they vehemently condemn it no matter how laudable and timely it might be. For instance, a government might decide to stop the importation of rice into the country to encourage local production. Such a laudable decision will definitely be condemned by the cartel of rice importers as it means the end of their business. Nevertheless, if the government is committed to the growth of the economy, the importation of rice should still be stopped without minding the reaction of the cartel. It’s always a two-way thing, every decision must affect some positively while it will affect some negatively but that does not imply that the right decision shouldn’t be taken. If you are to please everybody, you will never carry out any decision or action. Thus, if you are to make a meaningful impact in life, you must be able to act without minding whose ox is goad.

I have reasoned that one of the mistakes people make in life is that they try to please everybody. Show me a man that is trying to please the world, and I’ll show you a potential failure. An attempt to please the world will inevitably lead to failure because no matter what you do, you can’t possibly satisfy everybody. So, it behoves you to be decisive. Never consent to do things against your will, nor be influenced by what people might say. Before taking any action or decision, ensure you think it through - weigh the pros and cons. Once you judge it right and it aligns with the values you live by, go for it no matter what people will say. Just ensure that the right thing is done and leave the whiners to whine. However, care should be taken so as not to become too insensitive. Your sense of judgment must be sound.

Be independent. Be a visionary. Be a go-getter. Be tactful. Be decisive. Be victorious.

ABOUT YOU.

Some years ago, one (1) lucky sperm cell from your biological father fertilized the ovum from your biological mother and then a zygote was formed. Your sex was determined at fertilization by the chromosome from your biological father’s sperm. At 21 days after conception, your heart began to beat. At 25 days, your body started developing – your head and trunk appeared and tiny arm buds began to form, followed by leg buds. At 30 days, your brain, eyes, ears, mouth, kidneys, liver, and umbilical cord were all in place. Then, the you as a zygote later developed into a foetus after eight (8) weeks. Several other astonishing growth and development took place and then all your glands and organs were formed one after the other and then eventually you were made whole. When the womb could no longer contain you, you were delivered.

Your making was a success. At birth, you came out a masterpiece - as an amazing being containing several organs with fantastic works and capabilities. You were implanted with talents. You are whole and complete. You are an epitome of life. You were built to last. By reason of your birth as a Homo sapiens, you are an heir to the Universe. You were made to subdue the earth, so you don’t have limitations except the ones you place on yourself. You are a survivor - even when you had not come into consciousness, you still survived in the womb, and so now that you are conscious, you can survive in any situation. You can turn around any situation you find yourself. You can achieve whatever you set your mind to do.

You are not a coincidence, there’s a reason for your existence. That you’re still breathing is an indication that you are yet to fulfill your mission, else you would have been dead as a dodo. You were commissioned for exploits. For your sake, several sperm cells perished just to allow the sperm that fertilized that single ovum to form you. You were not aborted during the pregnancy stage neither were you consumed by all the diseases that plagued children. Season after season, you have been spared from all manner of accidents that had claimed the life of many. You have been groomed to glow.

Your sojourn on this earth is but for a short time. Someday, the breath of life will depart from you but before it does, you should make good use of the endowments entrusted in you. The Universe is waiting for the manifestation of the glory within you, so, find your purpose and fulfill your mission because it is in so doing that you can attain greatness. Consciously take your fate out of the hands of chance by building the future of your dreams. Make your life count!

WISDOM WILL DEFEAT STRENGTH ANYTIME.

Here’s the story of a man who tried to get his goat into his compound by force. He chased the goat back and forth but the goat won’t just enter the compound. When his daughter saw how the dad was sweating it out just to get the goat into the compound, she decided to intervene. And so she took some maize from the house, gave some to the goat and continued to feed the goat till she entered the compound. As soon as the goat entered the compound with her, she closed the gate and that settled it – she was able to lure the goat into the compound without sweating. The goat had maize to eat and she also got the goat inside the compound - what a win-win situation! Verily I say unto thee, wisdom can suffice where strength cannot help. Call it another bogus statement, but see what I mean…

Wisdom is more potent than strength. Off course strength has its place, but the application of strength without wisdom leads nowhere. If you’re conversant with troubleshooting devices, you will know what I mean (if you’ve never been stuck, you probably won’t understand though). To proffer the best solution to any issue, you must first thoroughly understand the issue. Else, your effort(s) might be in vain. For instance, you don’t need to fight with darkness to chase it away; all you have to do is to turn on the light because darkness cannot handle light – that simple. If you’re to achieve an excellent result, you have to do it the best way it ought to be done; the smart way.

The disparity between wisdom and strength is very wide. According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, wisdom is the ability to make sensible decisions and give good advice because of the experience and knowledge that you have while strength is the quality of being physically strong. Even from the two definitions alone, you can easily deduce that the former is based on reason while the latter on might. Strength might not help you untie a secure knot, but wisdom can. The effectiveness of a team is not dependent on the numbers that makes up the team but the process in place. More often than naught, winners in wrestling matches are not usually the strongest, but those with skills. You can use your strength to pursue a cause without success while wisdom can get you results without you having to expend any energy. A sensible suggestion can bring about a radical change that hours of toiling cannot. Strength can get you results, but wisdom can get you better results faster. You can get yourself out of trouble by applying wisdom. You can even prevent a major catastrophe by applying wisdom. You can attract the desired by applying wisdom. The list is endless.

We’re living in a complex world full of questions and only those that can answer life’s questions will obtain life’s treasures. Successful living is an art and only the wise will excel. In this world full of tasks, challenges, endless options, traps, evils, to name a few, wisdom is all you need to sail through, not strength; you cannot possibly excel distinctly in life without applying wisdom in all areas of your life. So, I charge you to wise up: apply wisdom in all your undertakings (at home, at work, in your relationships, etc.) so that you can achieve good results.

Don’t sweat it, go the wisdom way - the easy way. Seek knowledge. Seek counsel. Think. Plan right. Act right. Triumph!

BE EFFICIENT.

I once visited a government ministry to get some papers and I met the officers breaking melon and chit-chatting. When I finally met the officer that was supposed to handle my request, she told me to wait for her; and sit I did for two (2) good hours. While treating my request, she was busy chit-chatting till the officer that was supposed to finally sign my documents closed for the day and so I had no choice than to go back the next day to collect my documents when she could have attended to me promptly. Although I was affected by her inefficiency that particular day, but I can conclude from her lackadaisical approach to life that the reason she is still on the level of a ‘messenger’ is because she is not efficient even in her personal life. And so it is for many today. Since the result we get is a function of our input, majority fail in their endeavors because they are not efficient. I might not have been to other parts of the world, but I sure can talk authoritatively about my motherland and I bet it’s the same everywhere; I stand to be corrected.

Many people are busy doing nothing. It’s not how busy you are that counts, but what you are busy doing. Thus, the need for you to be efficient in all your undertakings cannot be overemphasized if you are to live a meaningful life. What is efficiency? How can you be efficient? What do you stand to gain by being efficient?

Efficiency, according to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary is, “the quality of doing something well with no waste of time or money OR the relationship between the amount of energy that goes into a machine or an engine, and the amount that it produces.” In my own words, as it relates to human beings, efficiency is the ability to maximize resources (time, skills, equipment, human resources etc.) to achieve set task(s) at the appropriate time. A way of ensuring that you get all tasks completed is by listing all set tasks (it could be on a sheet of paper, your phone, computer, or anywhere that’ll keep you abreast of what needs to be done within a specified timeframe) in the order of priority. That way, you won’t even have the time to engage in some unproductive pursuits because the time available will not even be enough for you to complete your set tasks. That way, you can work with precision while measuring your progress. That way, you can achieve what you want to achieve.

How much time do you use in chatting with friends and colleagues on non-related work issues during working hours when you could use the time productively? How often do you digress from doing the most important things by doing the unimportant things? If you want to achieve much in life, then you had better start mapping out goals, effectively plan your time, and then maximize your resources. Else, life might just hand you whatever it pleases.

Prayer has its place, but I tell you that hard work and efficiency also has theirs. Your desires are not far-fetched, but you will have to earn them; there’s no such thing as having something for nothing. Whether you waste away your time on some unworthy pursuits or you use it productively, time will still tick; time and tide, they say, waits for no man. So, it behooves you to use your resources judiciously so that you can achieve your goals in life.

Do more than exist, thrive!

LEARN TO SAY “NO”.

I recall with nostalgia how I failed a particular course in my university days. It happened that a friend invited me to trip to a neighboring institution with him and I obliged even though I had an examination the next day in a course I was not grounded in. Even though I had a feeling that I should revise a particular topic, I didn’t because I couldn’t resist the trip. Unfortunately for me, that particular topic I failed to revise dominated the examination questions and so I got the straight “E” grade that I deserved in the examination. This experience and many others too private to mention that I’ve had, coupled with some other people’s nasty experiences that I’ve heard of, have proved to me beyond reasonable doubt that those that cannot say “NO” when they ought to might have a difficult time succeeding in this world of ours.

We are all susceptible to making wrong decisions. Even great men and religious leaders say “YES” at times when they ought to say “NO”. Personally, I’m still grappling with my choices in so much that I doubt if I have the locus standi to write on this subject. But still, the truth must be propagated so that the wise can be guided.

That majority cannot say “NO” when they ought to is one of the maladies of our world today: Many marriages have been broken because either one or both of the partners didn’t say “NO” to infidelity. Many restless youths have met their untimely deaths while some have been jailed because they couldn’t say “NO” to crime. Lots of business men and women have been duped because they could not resist some business opportunities. Many have been sacked from their jobs because they could not say “NO” when they ought to. A lot of teenage girls have been impregnated because they could not say “NO” to premarital sex. Many people are living with HIV/AIDS today because they couldn’t say “NO” to sex. Everywhere is full of “had I known” stories. But it doesn’t have to be so! Your weak flesh shouldn’t toss you wherever it wills. You don’t have to be your own enemy. You don’t have to watch helplessly while your decisions and actions ruin you. You have a say!

The ability to say “NO” in this world full of temptations is a virtue. Before embarking on any plan of action, always lay out your options and their consequences in relation to your goal(s). If your decision(s) or action(s) will adversely affect you, there is no point embarking on the suicidal mission(s). If you’ve embarked on some suicidal mission(s) already, it’s time to abort. Redefine your goals and vehemently resist the temptation(s) of taking the wrong step(s) that will take you off target.

The laws that govern our universe will not change because of you. That your decisions will affect your actions and your actions the outcome is absolute and eternal, so make a conscious effort to always make good decisions so that you can always create the desired outcome. To save yourself from regrets and to be successful, you’ve got to learn to say “NO” when you ought to. Always calculate, with precision, the end from the beginning before taking action so that you can fulfill your purpose in the land of the living. He that hath an ear, let him hear.

TO RECEIVE, ASK.

While returning to the office on a hot afternoon with some colleagues, we drove past a young man who was trekking. Though he was sweating profusely, he didn’t ask for a ride when our car was approaching. On a second thought, I told the driver to reverse so that we could pick up the young man. Surprisingly, he walked past our car again. Not until we beckoned on him did he even come closer to the car. We then asked him to join us in the car since we were all heading in the same direction and so he did. He later told us that he was even going to our office to resolve some issues. When we got to the office, he was so full of thanks that I then had to ask him why he was slack in asking for a lift in the first place when he saw an opportunity to escape the scorching sun. As expected, he had no solid explanation to back up his lackadaisical attitude. It was at this point that I reasoned that one of the reasons why many fail in life is because they refuse to ask for help - majority fail in business, academics and in life generally because they refuse to ask for guidance. Many starve because they refuse to ask for assistance. Countless opportunities have been lost by many because they failed to ask for help at the appropriate time. The list is endless.

A closed mind never receives. We often miss out of the good things that could easily be obtained because we refuse to ask. We wait endlessly for miracles when all we might have to do is to just ask for the miracles to come to pass. I can’t however guarantee that you will get all the help you require by asking just once. Many a times, you might need to ask several times before you receive the desired. So, be determined. Learn from babies: even when they cannot yet talk, they still cry to protest - and they won’t stop crying till they get what they want. How much more you that can communicate! How often do you compromise your standard because you fail to ask? Why suffer in silence when succor beckons? Why live a frustrated life when help is available? Even though it’s not certain that you’ll receive help each time you ask, but at least asking increases the possibilities of receiving. So why not take the shot! I also agree that asking for help can be humiliating at times, but what do you do when you still need the help anyway? You ask. It doesn’t mean you have to be lazy though, you have to play your part before asking for help (remember that the universe is not structured to favor the indolent). Likewise, tact should be employed: you should know when to ask, how to ask, where to ask, and from whom to ask. Else, your requests and efforts might be in vain.

“If there’s something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask” advised W. Clement Stone. Beloved, you’ll definitely need the help of others for one thing or the other and the only way you can get the required help is by asking because mortal men cannot see through your mind to ascertain whether you need help or not. For doors to open, you might have to voice out. So do not hesitate to ask for help whenever you need one. Come out of your shell before you die inside your shell. Swallow your pride before your pride swallows you.

Nothing is impossible; everything is doable. The help you require for that challenging situation has always been there, but for the asking; help is often available, but you might have to ask to receive. So key-in to the vast provisions available to make unprecedented progress in all areas of your life. Be expectant. Be receptive. Be proactive. Be ready. Be determined. Be successful.

YOU NEED GOOD FRIENDS.

Since you are a social being, you cannot do without mingling with friends. Interestingly, who you mingle with will determine your reasoning, your reasoning will determine your actions, and your actions in turn will determine the results you get from life. Thus, your friends can be assets to you, while they can also be liabilities. Your friends can get you jobs, while they can also get you sacked. Your friends can help you inculcate good habits, while they can also introduce you to bad habits. Your friends can recommend you for a lifting, while they can also fish you out for destruction. Your friends can support you, while they can also demote you. Your friends can give you a new lease of life, while they can also kill you. Isn’t it just wise then that you choose only good friends to roll with? The answer is affirmative.

Sadly, good friends are rare to come by in times like these because selfishness is the order of the day. Who then is a good friend? A true friend, in Richard Exley’s words, “is one who hears and understands when you share your deepest feelings. He supports you when you are struggling; he corrects you, gently and with love, when you err; and he forgives you when you fail. A true friend prods you to personal growth, stretches you to your full potential. And most amazing of all, he celebrates your successes as if they were his own.” How many of your friends fit into that definition? Do a thorough assessment and be truthful to yourself. Since anyone that can’t increase you will decrease you, keeping bad friends is tantamount to wickedness to self. So purge them out! Let go of them before they ruin you! Flee from the bad ones! If however you’ve got some good ones, cultivate the relationships; hold on to them tightly, they’ll inevitably add to you. If you haven’t got some good ones, then it’s time to search for some; it’ll help - you can win with people.

It doesn’t matter the quantity of friends you have, it’s the quality that counts. So, reshuffle; discard the bad ones, keep only the good ones, even add more good ones. It is also worthy to note that the Law of Attraction comes to play here as you can only attract good friends to yourself only if you are one, so by all means make yourself one so that you can network your way to success.

Team up with great minds so that you can scale the utmost height. Soar with the eagles!

CARRY YOUR CROSS.

While growing up, I literally looked unto some acquaintances of mine for help but was mostly disappointed with the way things turned out. In fact, not until when I started working did I forgive some of my relations and friends that I thought could have helped me up when I needed it most, but who didn’t. Now that some are looking up to me, in as much as I would have loved to, I can’t help as many as I wish because I also have issues to deal with - I have to think of my personal needs, my immediate family, plan for my future before I can now think of assisting others. My wants have remained insatiable while my resources are limited for now, and that limits my might. I’m even sure that I must have disappointed some loved ones that looked up to me for one help or the other at some point or the other too. I can now see why I didn’t get all the help I needed then. Should those that have let me down in the past be condemned? Or should I be condemned? Certainly not, everybody is just trying to make ends meet.

After series of experiences time and again during my few years of sojourn on earth, I have reasonably concluded that if anyone desires to succeed in this world of reality, such a person will have to personally carry his cross. Show me a man dependent on his fellow men, and I’ll show you a man that’ll soon be disappointed. Fellow, human beings will ever fail you, not because they are selfish, but because they are also limited to some degree. So resolve to face your challenges squarely. If help comes along the line, fair enough; grab it and be grateful. If not, there should still be no deterrent. Decide to breakthrough anyhow.

Your best hands are yours. Never resolve to waiting endlessly for help, the time and effort you put into pursuing and expecting help from others can be used creatively in proffering solutions to your set undertakings. And besides, some undertakings are not transferable, you have to do it yourself if you must get the desired result. So be ready to always carry your cross at all times. Stop trading blames; accept the responsibilities that are yours.

Now, pause to re-evaluate your situation and then re-strategize. There must be a way around your situation without you having to depend on others, so start thinking of solutions. I can’t promise you that it’ll be easy though, there’ll come a time when your strength will fail you. When it does, just hang in there; don’t give up! Whatever the situation may be, however hopeless the odds are, you can make it. It’ll call for careful planning, sacrifice and determination though, but it’s achievable.

Be it known to you that those you’re looking up to for help are also looking unto others for help, so avail yourself of disappointments. Close your eyes to those around you that you feel could help but are not helping; be prepared to go it all alone and you’ll be surprised at how providence will move to your aid. You can be independent and yet make waves. You can even outshine your contemporaries. You can achieve excellence without being a pest.

Heed the words of wisdom and prosper. Be reminded that you’ve only got but one shot at life, so it’s up to you to paint a masterpiece or a meaningless daub out of it. After all, it’s your life!