Tuesday 30 December 2008

PERIODICALLY ASSESS YOUR LIFE.

I was in a courier shop yesterday to send a parcel and a conversation ensued between the cashier and I after he asked me for a tip. In less than 15 minutes, the middle-aged man had summarized his life history for me. He especially lamented bitterly about the company he presently works for. According to him, a recent assessment revealed to him that he has not achieved any worthwhile thing since he joined the company four (4) years ago. He then decided that he was going to quit the job by the end of this year because it’s certain that his story will remain the same by the end of next year if he doesn’t leave the job. I was so impressed with his realization, resolve and workable plan so much that I congratulated him as if he won a million dollar lottery. I congratulated him because he has seen the need to leave his comfort zone and he’s prepared to pay the price. With that, I’m confident that he will eventually arrive at the level of satisfaction which he desires soon if he sticks to the plan.

Anybody that doesn’t see the need for change when change is highly needed is finished - dead as a dodo. I’m of the opinion that a problem is half solved when you have identified that there is a problem; identification precedes solution. Just as this fed-up cashier, we all should equally assess our lives from time to time (especially now when a year is rounding up and another just around the corner) against our projected benchmarks and then make the necessary moves that’ll take us closer to our “expected ends”. First and foremost, it’s important that you define your expected end in life. If it’s not defined, you might be tempted to settle for anything. Once it’s defined, the expected end will serve as a benchmark which will dictate your direction and steps in life. Once you’re on the right track, it is then pertinent that you periodically assess your growth to see how you’re doing. This should be done as truthfully as possible because you cannot afford to lie to yourself. If you’re doing well, work out ways that will make you do better. If you’re not doing very well, face it and re-strategize. Ask yourself…what is success to me? What contributed to my shortcomings this year? What amends do I have to make to avert possible shortcoming(s) in the coming year? Which areas did I record unprecedented success? Can the success be sustained and improved upon? How can I improve on it? Do I need outright change of location? Do I need outright change of vocation? Do I need outright change of methods? Periodically do a thorough assessment of your individual situation and make corrections and adjustments accordingly where necessary so that the rest of your life can be the best of your life.

I wish you a success-full year 2009.

Saturday 27 December 2008

THE DANGERS OF STAGNATION.

My personal research revealed that unsuccessful people are often stagnant; they hate change, in fact majority of them vehemently fight change because of fear of the unknown. On the other hand, the same research revealed that successful people are constantly evolving, constantly creating, constantly exploring, constantly improving, and constantly moving forward; they love change, in fact they thrive on risks and uncertainties. Thus, I postulate that another defining criterion for success is MOTION. Call it a hypothesis, but see what I mean…

It is no news that a body will remain in its state unless it is moved. Similarly, your situation will not change unless you move and you will not record further success unless you keep moving. If you’ve been doing it in a particular way and it’s not giving you the desired results, it simply means the process cannot work. A change of process might be all you need, move on. Even if it’s working, if you want to change the gear of success, you must be innovative enough to keep moving forward so that you can record more success. Constant forward movement is the secret of an ever-improving life. It’s not a one-time activity, it’s an all-time activity. So keep moving on. Keep yearning for change. Never settle for less.

Stagnation adds no value at all, rather it diminishes. When you stop developing or making progress, you will start depreciating. Other retrogressive changes will also occur. When you are stagnant:

1. You start smelling: Stagnant water smells. Insults will start coming in from all quarters because you have tarried on that particular state for too long. Disrespect will set in because people will loose their respect for you as they’ll see you as a loser. Other unpleasant and derogatory experiences will be witnessed. Indeed, stagnation stinks.

2. You start rusting and thereafter go rotten: When disused metals are exposed to water and air, rusting sets in and they consequently disintegrate. Such is the fate of stagnant people too. Inaction caused by stagnation causes rust and rottenness. The brain will no longer be active because it has not been constantly challenged/exercised. The functionalities of all other faculties would start reducing too because they have not been actively put into good use. Some unlucky ones end up loosing their minds. Some loose their health and die through the process. The ending is usually pathetic.

3. Happiness will elude you: You can’t ever be happy if you’re not living your dreams. We all have heart desires and big pictures. When they are not achieved, although you might pretend that all is well on the outside, but on the inside happiness will elude you because you’ll know in your heart of heart that you have failed. You simply trade your happiness for sorrow when you tarry in your comfort zone.

4. You will live a meaningless life: Shouldn’t life be more than living and dying? If you’re stagnant, you can’t ever function in your capacity. And when you’re not functioning in your capacity, you cannot fulfill your purpose in the land of the living. You will constantly be at the mercy of circumstances rather than riding circumstances. You will be bundled willy-nilly without your consent or despite your protests into some pitiable state. At that point, you will not only be failing yourself, you would be robbing the world of your brilliance too.

5. You will become useless: You will agree with me that a living dog will be a better guard than a dead lion. Anything that is not alive and active is dead and useless. Likewise, anything that is not useful is useless. When you’re stagnant, your usefulness reduces day by day. You won’t be able to help anybody since you’re also “limited”. You can’t even have a say in your work place, in your family meetings or anywhere for that matter. People will no longer come to you for advice because they will believe you don’t have anything to offer. You will be ignored and isolated.

6. You will start breeding unpleasant things: Stagnant water breeds mosquitoes, toads and frogs to name a few. When you’re stagnant, you will become the haven for unpleasant things. By the virtue of your level, you will start forming alliances with mediocre minds. Unhealthy thoughts and actions will follow. At that point, you will become failure personified. Calamities will keep increasing in leaps and bounds. Unsuccessful things will become your trademark.

7. You will adjust to appalling conditions: When you’re stagnant, you don’t have any other choice but to make do of what is available. It messes up the mind. If care is not taken, you might probably adjust and permanently accept the state as the norm. Creeping then becomes a routine even when you have the capacity to soar. You start managing. Your eagle will begin to eat carcass. At that point, growth stops. No one can help anyone once he/she crosses this line, such a person’s fate would have been sealed.

These are but few dangers of stagnation, the list is inexhaustible. In your own interest, vehemently resist stagnation so that you can attain a level of satisfaction in life.

“The glories we have known are as nothing compared to the glories yet to be. The mightiest achievements of the past dwindle into insignificance besides the conquests still possible.” remarked Robert Heap. You can still do better than you’re doing presently, so why settle for less? Why stand between your self and further conquests by succumbing to the destructive spirit of stagnation? Why rob your future of its potentials? Rethink.

How long have you been living in that same rented apartment? How long have you been on that job? How long have you engaged yourself in that unrewarding vocation? How long have you been celebrating the last success? Whatever the case may be, however peculiar your situation maybe, I bet you have tarried for too long in that state my friend. It’s time to leave your comfort zone. It’s time to move to a higher ground. Even if it’s your religion that’s not working for you, find a religion that works. By all means, at all cost, make a conscious effort to move ahead in life.

Don’t rest on your oars, use them to move your boat through the murky waters of life. Keep dreaming. Keep making giant strides. Keep succeeding.

Friday 19 December 2008

BEWARE OF JEALOUS ASSOCIATES.

This world of ours is very delicate. One has to be very careful if one will live long and live well. I have come to realize that one can get himself/herself enemies by just being oneself not to even mention when one is ambitious and excelling. These so-called enemies are relatives, friends, and colleagues that wish they had something that you have. If care is not taken, these jealous associates can hinder you from maximizing your potentials. They are selfish and mean. They use the opportunity of being close to secretly and at times openly cause harm. They can go to any length to inhibit or destroy you simply because you’re outshining them, although they will never openly admit that they are envious of you. They will say terrible things about you just to wreck you. They can even attempt to kill you so as to totally extinguish your dreams. They not only use physical powers, some fight with spiritual means. Scary and bizarre, isn’t it? But that’s just the way it is. From cradle to the grave, it’s warfare all the way. It’s not just peculiar to human beings alone or to our generation, it’s like that for all living things and it has always been like that and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. After all, fish eats fish. Chickens peck each other too. The list is endless.

Shall we then shrink so as to avoid jealousy and consequently harm? Far be it, our playing small does not profit the world. We should still strive to make an impact nevertheless. How can one then possibly escape the wicked devices of the adversaries and their antics of deception? Caution and wisdom are the keys. As the Yorubas will advise, “Bisu eni ba ta, ama n di owo bo jeni” which literally means “If one’s yam yields well, one should eat it quietly without courting attention.” Your exploits should not enter your head so much that you begin to disrespect others; you must be able to balance it. Be cautious. Never make people feel inferior, always treat people with respect and courtesy. Show interests in their affairs but know where to draw the boundary. Be humble. Learn to stomach nonsenses. Be temperate in all things at all times. Thread softly.

As the Yorubas will also say, “Ifura loogun agba” meaning “Cautiousness is the medicine of elders”. Be sensitive. Be on the alert at all times. Be ready for confrontations and most importantly arm yourself “spiritually” too so that you can wrestle successfully against principalities and powers.

I wish you the very best in this battlefield called life. Be well.

Friday 12 December 2008

STOMACHING NONSENSES.

Our world is full of people with different colors, different sizes, different temperaments, different upbringings, different religion, different philosophies and beliefs, different abilities, different pursuits, to name a few. Thus, disagreements, insults, careless talks, unfair judgments and hurts are inevitable on a minute basis. If you respond to every offender in a “fire-for fire” mode every time, you probably will be irate every minute which is definitely not a wise move. The inability to ‘stomach nonsenses’ have led some to the grave, it has landed some in prison, some have lost their jobs, some have been maimed, some have been demoted, many marriages have been broken, believe me the result of losing control is always dire. There’s nothing cool in losing control, ‘stomaching nonsenses’ is the solution. Call it stupidity or cowardice if you wish, but I call it wisdom.

Since you are a social being, you’ll always have issues to handle at work, at home, at the market, everywhere and misunderstanding/insults are inevitable every time. Worse still, there are some temptations that your enemies will strategically place in your way to reduce you. When you react to them, they’ll have an occasion against you to prosecute you. But when you keep your cool, you’ll inevitable win the battle. So when insults come, as they sometimes will, stomach them. Don’t just stomach them, purge them out by way of forgiving the offender immediately. Learn to keep your cool in all circumstances.

Avoidance is better than remedy. The only way tranquility can reign in your world is when you stay out of trouble, so don’t wage war against yourself; keep your temperament under control at all times. Guard your tongue. Steer clear of fights. Develop a thick skin to insults so that you can enjoy peace of mind, after all insults cannot stick on your body neither does it make you a loser (it rather makes you the wise one). Learn to stomach ‘nonsenses’ so that you can prosper in the land of the living. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.