Friday 11 July 2008


While having a tête-à-tête with a lady sometime ago, I was able to pinpoint the root of her issue. According to her, she was raped while she was very young. To worsen it all, her parents died early so she had to live with an uncle of hers who continually exploited her sexually. By the time she was 21years old, she had totally lost her self-esteem. She no longer sees “sex” as a big deal. Now, she’s so bitter about men that she has vowed not to ever marry but to use men to her own advantage. She doesn’t believe in love again because it has been imprinted on her memory that her body is meant to be exploited. She’s even planning to have two children outside wedlock. Sad story, isn’t it? I tried to brainwash her but my sermon fell on deaf ears. Then, it occurred to me that most people fail in life because they refuse to let go of the past.

I certainly feel sorry for the lady in question for the inhumane treatment she received from men while growing up. But, still I hold her responsible for holding on dearly to her past. To start with, it’s pointless for her to allow the rape event that can’t be reversed to define her future. Secondly, now that she’s free from that pervert uncle of hers, and since she’s still young and beautiful, she could still find true love, build a happy home, and live happily thereafter with her family. But instead, she chose to wallow in her past. Her prime objective now is to milk all men that cross her path dry. How bad!

I don’t know what you’ve been through in the past but what I certainly know is that it cannot define your future unless you allow it to. The past is history – it’s a phase of your life that you can’t reverse; it’s like an episode of a play that has already been staged - the die is cast. You should concentrate on other episodes that are yet to be staged irrespective of the mistakes made while staging the earlier episodes so that you can finish strong.

Is it that you once served some term in prison? It’s in the past dude. You now have a second chance to make things right. You can still contribute your quota positively to the development of our dear world. It’s never too late for you to rewrite your name in gold.

Are you a victim of rape or do you feel used and useless because you have been jilted by many men? Weep no more. You’re so much better than you even know. If only those men knew what an asset you’re, they wouldn’t have treated you like trash. Believe me, they have missed the singular opportunity to be part of a grand design. Keep your head up high!

Or is it that you have a terrible past as a lady? Everybody makes mistakes my dear. Repent and forsake your old ways. Work on yourself. Change location if you have to. By all means, repackage yourself and see if good suitors won’t surface. You bet.

Or is it that you’re scared of venturing into new grounds because of past failures and betrayals? Don’t! Success eventually favors those that refuse to take “NO” for an answer. Besides, will you rather remain stagnant because of past failures and betrayals? God forbid. Learn to trust again and try again, just be careful.

Whatever the case may be, I implore you not to let your past inhibit the good you stand to gain in your future. No matter what transpired in the past, let it die; let go of all the bitter experiences in your past. Since your past is already history, I strongly suggest you grant it the rest required.

Relax, it’s not over yet. Given that the future is still ahead and considering the fact that it holds many possibilities, I suggest you focus on making the best use of the present and the future. Start anew.

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